Run. Dog. Cat. Cat. Me.

Everything you need to know about running and life and any other random crap I find bouncing through my mind like a ping pong ball. And always be sure your shoes are happy.

Why working with a personal trainer immediately makes me flash back to Kindergarten.

(50 years ago) Miss Morgan:  Good morning, Terri!  You look so nice today, your hair is very pretty!

Me:  (Seriously?  Sunday morning my mother cut my bangs with pinking shears.  I can’t stand it any more! she said.  Where are the scissors?  Ah, pinking shears will do….)

(Now) Cheryl:  Terrrieeeeeee!  Good morning!  Hey, did you get your hair done?

Me:  (Seriously, Sunday morning I cut my bangs with pinking shears.  Couldn’t stand them anymore.  Couldn’t find the damn scissors but figured pinking shears would be fine.  Don’t know where I ever got that idea.)

Miss Morgan:  Look!  We got a new workbook, everyone!  (happy smiles)

Me:  (What the?  What’s this?  Counting 1 to 100?  What is this word, 100?  Doesn’t it all end at 10?  Who needs anything past 10?!  I ONLY HAVE 10 FINGERS.)

Cheryl:  Look!  I got a new medicine ball!  It weighs 87 pounds!  (happy smile, bouncing 87 pound medicine ball.  Photos fall off wall.)

Terri:  (WTF?  What’s this?  87 pound medicine ball?  If it weighs 87 pounds it needs medicine.  Who needs 87 pounds?  I ONLY HAVE 10 FINGERS!)

Miss Morgan:  Ok, kids, time for snacks.  Terri, are you eating your snack and juice?

Me:  (mmmuffffff  yeff ma’am, fank you, spewing cracker crumbs and spilling juice down my shirt)

Cheryl:  Terri, did you eat breakfast?  Do you need a powerbar?

Me: (mmmmffff yeff, fank you, spewing powerbar crumbs and spilling gatorade down my shirt)

Miss Morgan:  Class, today we are going say our entire ABC’s!  Have you been practicing?  Terri, can you say your ABC’s?

Me:  (ah, uh-oh.  Yes, ma’am.  ABCD…XQYZ!)

Cheryl:  Terri, do you think you can do 15 reps on this?

Me: (ah, f*ck me, no.  You betcha!  1-2-3……thiiiiiiiirteeeeen *gasp*  fouuuuuuuurttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen….*gasp*….fift face plant.)

Miss Morgan:  (on the playground) Terri!  that’s great, you can jump rope!

Me: (immediately miss the jump, wrap self completely in jump rope and fall over like a calf in a rodeo.)

Cheryl:  Terri, that’s great, you can jump rope!  We’re going to incorporate that into a workout!

Me:  (immediately miss the jump and wrap self completely in jump rope, falling over like a rodeo calf.)

Miss Morgan – Story Time

Kid in Front of Me:  talktalktalk

Me: hush

Kid: talktalktalk

Me:  shush!

Kid: talktalktalk

Me: Shut UP!

Miss Morgan:  Kid and Terri, if you can’t listen during Story Time, you can sit yourselves in the corner.

Me: (didn’t tell my mother I got sat in the corner until I was 23 years old)

Cheryl wins by a point.

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