Please … help … us …
It’s a good thing someone in this house has a sense of responsibility and maturity because Mom and Dog are basically useless. I do have to admit mom is cute most of the time, doing her little running play times and coming home with those awesome smelly clothes, but Dog just smells like raccoon sh*t and sleeps.
Mom was in a bit of a funk this morning. She muttered something about Damn Cat and Sitting On My Head and Being Awake Since 4:30A.M and Monday and Piles of Paperwork and Ran out of Coffee (which I’m not sure what Coffee is but I think it’s sorta like catnip. Except she doesn’t roll in it. She appears to pray to it. She holds Coffee Cup I Love You Coffee Cup in front of her nose, breathes deeply and says Thank You little baby Jesus in your straw filled crib for Coffee) .
By the way, I tell you what, if I ever find Damn Cat I’m going to take him out. Every time Damn Cat makes mom mad I end up shut in the bathroom.
So anyway, Mom seemed to be in a bit of a frump and then she talked to Computer Box and said to Computer Box what we need is some Pandora (which in case you don’t know who Pandora is, I Wikied it for you: “In Greek Mythology, Pandora (ancient Greek: Πανδώρα, derived from πᾶν “all” and δῶρον “gift”, thus “all-gifted” or “all-giving”) was the first woman”. Apparently her nickname is Mo Town. Computer Box found Pandora Mo Town and now we need help and we need it soon. Dog has already abdicated and is cowering under the upstairs guest bed with his paws wrapped tightly around his ears. There is no one else to save us but me.
She got out of her funk all right but now she is bouncing in her chair and screeching with Computer Box
Do you loooooooooooove me? (I can really move)
Do you loooooooooooove me? (I’m in the groove)
Ah do you love? (Do you love me)
Now that I can dance (dance)
My ears are crying. Three of the glasses in the cabinet have shattered and several books have fallen off the shelves. Paint is peeling off the walls.
Please send help.