Run. Dog. Cat. Cat. Me.

Everything you need to know about running and life and any other random crap I find bouncing through my mind like a ping pong ball. And always be sure your shoes are happy.

Isn’t that radiculos?

Here’s some words you may not have heard before:  S1 Radiculopathy.  Sounds Harry Potterish, doesn’t it?

++++++++++++

Harry and Snape are facing off in the Hogwarts hallway.  Snape throws a Flaming Arrow of Death at Harry, who deflects it at the last second with a shout:  “RADICULOPATHIUM!!”

Snape grabs his back and leg, falling to the ground writhing in pain as his body spasms.  “STOP!” he begs, “Stop!  It hurts!  I’ll quit trying to kill you and turn into a good guy!”

Harry snarls, but since he’s the Goodest Guy of all Good Guys he finally sighs.  No one can ever be as Good a Guy as Harry, but Harry never gives up hope in his fellow sorcerers.

“Fine, get up,” he says, “let’s do 15 minutes of back extension.” and he buckles Snape into the machine.

Snape sighs.  “Can I just stay in this thing until closing time?” he asks.

++++++++++++

It’s been five weeks of near death experiences for my family even given the presence of the Keurig and copious amounts of Creme Brulee and Macadamia Cookie.  Probably if you haven’t been running in five weeks you might should lay off the caffeine unless you can find some other stress relief.  Probably screaming at emails and televised debates does not count as stress relief.  At least not for hubs and the animals.  I felt better.  Wasn’t that what mattered?

This Monday I had the nerve conduction test and it appears I don’t have a whole lotta nerve like I thought.  Apparently a lotta my nerve is getting hung up at my first sacral vertebra where the disc is being a bully and pushing the sciatic nerve around.  Kinda like Debbie Smith did to me in 5th grade, not that I harbor resentment.

I was so happy.  I was SO happy!  I was texting everyone I could think of!  I HAVE A PINCHED NERVE!  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

I even made up phone numbers and texted it to those.  Just so I could have more people to text about how happy I was.  You know what?  Some people are not impressed by happy news.

I actually do have a real thing that’s wrong and fixable.  It has a name.  It’s a radiculous name, of course – why would I expect otherwise? – but who’s to quibble.

Quibble.  Kinda like Quidditch, huh?  Appropriate – there’s some tiny thing whizzing around ready to smack you at any time.  It flies under the bleachers and hides, and just when you think, OK, cool, it’s all under control, the damn thing slams you in the butt and your butt decides to try to fall off again, so it can get out of the way.

Butt — now we have a name, and a plan.

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7 thoughts on “Isn’t that radiculos?

  1. So glad for you… and your family. They might not have been able to endure another several weeks of near-death experiences. I wasn’t sure… were you Harry or Snape in those re-enactments??

    BTW, I bought Casual Vacancy, because I am very much hoping that J.K. Rowling is as awesome at writing big-kid books as she was at HP.

  2. I’m Snape. Greasy-haired kid in grade school, not quite up to the social mores.

    I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday to get Gone Girl for my book club. Since they were sold out but the computer said they had a copy I was following the employee through the store looking for the non-existent copy the computer continued to insist they still had. I saw the JKR book and asked how it was moving. Not so great, evidently. It made me feel sad on several levels. Let me know what you think.

  3. It is uncanny how each of your posts reflects something going on in my life. I too am suffering with some back ailment. I’m having some sort of sciatic pain. Not sure if it’s hip or spine. Had a bone scan–all good, now it’s time for MRI’s $$$. Not happy though, the marathon is out (all that training and no glory). Glad to hear you found out what yours is. I was thinking of having the nerve conduction test too. I’ll look into it. Hope you are pain free soon. Sounds like some weird physio exercises may be in your near future.

    • OH, ick!!! Definitely ask your doc to get a nerve conduction test done. Real simple, didn’t take 15 minutes and immediately showed where the issue was without all those expensive and time consuming tests. Best of luck!! I know it’s frustrating! keep me posted, too –

  4. You know, I wonder if the time of the year has anything to do with all the “pain in the back” going around…..? My left hip is killing me (course, pulling a gluteus muscle maaayyy have something to do with it, but still…). I live in constant fear of my old nemesis, sciatica, rejoining me on my runs. I sooo want to not be in constant pain this time around…

    • I know! It seems to take so little to set things off, too. I guess what I have – the pinched nerve – is also sciatica? As we relieve the pressure on the disc my leg feels better. Of course, right now, the relief only lasts the rest of the day, if that, but the PT said that’s normal and will continue to get better. She also said my sciatic nerve is ‘stuck’ in the pelvis by the piriformis so I’m doing a very simple piriformis stretch twice a day – not aggressively, just to the point of tension. It’s the one where you lay on your back, pull one knee up, cross the other ankle on that knee and pull that leg toward you just to the point of pull in your butt/hamstring. Best wishes and good luck!!!

      • Don’t “over”do that stretch…it can be a real temptation cause it does feel good (to us masochists), but it can also aggravate the sciatica. Another “relief” thing to try is laying on your back on the floor in fromt of a chair/couch. Put your butt right up against the front of the chair. Place your legs up in the seat of the chair. (like you are sitting on the front of the chair) Your legs should be supported comfortably by the seat of the chair. Relax….

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