It’s the end of the world as we know it.
That’s great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane –
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn –
world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn’t coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane!
This is what my brain sounds like in my head. So, I’ve started making lists. Lists are very good. If you can find where you put them.
Unfortunately, lists also tend to make me feel slightly overwhelmed. It seems more stuff gets added than gets crossed off.
Of course it would help if some of the things on the list didn’t include “Find keys … again” “phone…”
And, really, do you need to put laundry on a list? I think not. I think I will cross that off. It’s not like, when I look in the drawer and have no more clean socks, I’m going to be unable to understand that laundry needs to be done. And the very helpful — but incredibly irritating – incessant pinging of the dryer when it’s finished usually inspires me to get the clean clothes taken care of. Someone got paid to create that sound, and it wasn’t me. They got money to irritate people. Dammit. I do that all the time and I never get one penny.
Speaking of appliances, do yours say words? Mine do. And they say the same words every. damn. time. Could they change up the conversation? No.
Dishwasher: Wasssshhh-aaahhhh wasssshhhh-aaahhhh wasssshhhh-aaahhh. I’m so terribly sorry, dishwasher, that you find the entire reason you were created to be such a burden.
And the washing machine, WTH for, I don’t know, says DoctorPepper-DoctorPepper-DoctorPepper. It could be a Coke conspiracy. I do like Diet Dr. Pepper. Oddly I sometimes find myself craving Dr. P while doing laundry.
Nahhhh.
Nah??
I got up this morning, looked at my to do list and thought, it’s Monday. It’s not 8am. So I turned the list over and now all I have is a blank piece of paper.
I think this is a metaphor for a lot of things in life.
How important is it? Important enough to be engraved on a list?
How often do we replay shit in our heads that we would never write on a list? He said she said they didn’t they did they never I never she never they always I always they always. Particularly if the conversation in our head contains negative content more than 24 hours old.
God I wish I could turn my brain over to a clean sheet.
Anyway, it’s Monday and I have a list, I’ve had my coffee, and it’s almost 8am. I’m going to try working on the list on the sheet of paper and ignore the list in my head. I’ll stream some R.E.M. and leave you with this #firstworlddogproblem:
The sprinklers are on in Murphy’s favorite part of the yard.
Sad Murphy
Fifteen minutes later:
Sadder Murphy. I’mma hide in this corner, here, and the sprinklers will go away.
I just checked again, now the sprinklers are done. Murphy’s plan of action worked and they disappeared. His world didn’t end.
I checked my to-do list. It didn’t, either.
*sigh*
I’m really great at my list making/keeping during “RD Season” and then the day after Race Day it’s like I go into List Making Rehab for about a month. Which is nice, until the end of my 30 days and then I have to make a list of the lists I have to make just to get started again. Which is where I am right now. 🙂
Also, welcome back!
Thanks! I’m feeling quite enthused about the list … right now; however I’m only 54 minutes into it.
HOLY SHIT YOU ARE ALIVE IN BLOGLAND! (I might be reborn soon. At this point my blog is deadish.) Anyway, the power that lists have over us is amazing. It’s as if putting something in print magically makes it a command. I love your metaphor in turning the list over and having a blank paper. I would compulsively turn mine back over pretty quickly, though. Dammit. I have been known, however, to “accidentally” lose my to-do list and then rejoice. If something is really important, it comes back to mind eventually….I love your Sad Murphy photos. He is beautiful! Please post a Happy Murphy soon and unbreak my heart for the poor guy.
I suppose that s-word will get me in trouble, but “s-word” has no punch to it.
the s- word, along with the d- word, f- word, h- word and several others will never get you in trouble with me. As long as they are words code spelled *&^% or #$%^’ing, for example
.
I think I can learn that language. You are a skilled teacher.