Good morning, Boy and Girl. I suppose you’ve both been frantic, wondering where I am and why I haven’t written lately. Well, in addition to the usual – my toy job, the holidays coming up, getting the guest room ready for company 🙂 (mom and T1 and T2 are all coming for Christmas!) I decided this was the perfect time to finally tackle a project that’s been stairing me in the face daily for the past two years. November, 2010 the hubs and I found nice wood stairs under the baby blue carpet. There was not much sense in redoing the stairs at that time since the construction guys needed to go up and down them. I’ve had every intention, every time I went up or downstairs for the past two years, to finally finish them. It was like a piece of popcorn kernel stuck in my back tooth.
We did get the dining room done, replacing the wheelbarrow with a table and chairs. While I personally thought the hanging wires added a certain charm, we also had the walls rewired properly. Hubs kept muttering something about ‘electrocution’ and ‘construction permits’ and ‘she keeps walking through that room with those wires hanging loose’. You’d think he thinks I’m clumsy or something.
Every time I gave serious thought to redoing the stairs my brain started to sort of spin as I considered getting all that done while three animals tracked paint through the house while I struggled to get the job finished. Finally I caved and called a painter. He started talking about sanding and oil-based primer and additives to help the paint dry faster in the cool damp weather and sanding and oil-based paint and sanding some more and some more paint and three days. I said, “How much and can you start tomorrow?” Yes, and yes. Boy am I glad I didn’t try to take it on, they spent about 20 man-hours on the job. Every morning they would arrive, do their job, tape the stairs off with billowing plastic (cats cowering in the downstairs hallway, haunted by the specter). We lived downstairs and I had to go outside and around the house to get to the kitchen from Tuesday to Friday.
Don’t they look nice, now? Chunker is sneaking down…she had to inspect.
So, that’s where I’ve been part of the time.
Also, some of the time I went for a run or four. YES!!! I RAN!
The MRI of my hamstring showed: Nothing. Surprise. Not sure where to go from here but I’m not doing anything until after the first of the year and will probably have a neuro check out my hypochondriac back/leg. It still has the electricity running through, but my butt doesn’t hurt much at all, and the night cramps have (mostly) stopped. Maybe all the steroids have finally kicked in. Maybe all the rest and stuff helped. Maybe I’m just a nutjob. Maybe my mother is right and Satan is attacking me and all her rebuking has finally scared him off. Or he doesn’t like billowing plastic, I don’t know.
ANYWAY: I ran! Screw it! It hurts anyway. Last week I did the Women Run/Walk Memphis intermediate 1 training program: warm up, 40 minutes of 3/3 walk/run and a cool down. This week I did four miles, with walk breaks at the miles. I felt it; my muscles had that nice warm hum of soreness the next day. My leg also had that nice cool hum of cold water streaming through it, sometimes supplanted with little bits of electricity. I continue to stretch and ice and heat and do voodoo. The cats don’t like voodoo. I don’t know if it’s the odd mask with tufts of paint brush hair sticking out, or the screeching. I, however, am not doing the voodoo for them. I’m doing it for me. Also for the neighbor’s irritating dog, Barkahoula the Rowfer with the massive subWOOFer: I do not desire the dog to suffer serious damage but long-term laryngitis would be heavenly.
Then I thought it would be nice to put lights on a few bushes outside. That took two days. I got halfway done with the front and ran out of lights. So I bought some more. Except the wire was white and it looked like crap on the green holly tree. So I bought some more lights but I didn’t realize they were that grid kind and when I put them on the tree it looked like a checkerboard. So I bought some more lights but this time I read the label (seriously, when I grew up right after the dinosaurs all died when the supernova spaceship crashed into Russia, you bought Christmas lights. There was a box. It had lights. You buy them, or you don’t. One color, one brand, one box. Go home. Put the damn lights up. Get a beer and watch the game. dammit.)
Then, I had all these strands of lights with white cords. Well that’s a waste. I looked at the front porch. mmmm. The porch is … white! So I wrapped the lights around the porch columns. Except then, I didn’t have quite enough. So I had to go get a few more. It looked pretty nice, especially at night when you can’t see all the cords all crisscrossed and that one strand that only lit up half the way, so I staple-gunned the unlit part to the back of the column. It sticks out a bit, but like I said, in the dark…
THEN I thought, well, I have those stupid grid lights, I should use them. So I wrapped them around the front tree. Except the cord didn’t reach the power strip. So I had to go buy another cord. Do you know that it’s not real easy to find a two-pronged cord any more? When I was growing up you had one cord. It had two prongs. Plug the little bastard in. Get a beer. Watch the game. DAMMIT.
Also, I made a craft. I’m not really sure what overcame me. A couple of weeks ago I saw these little trees with their burlap-wrapped cement base at Kroger for $4.99. My drug addled brain seemed to think this was an incredible thing. A little fake Christmas tree, with a burlap wrapped base, for $4.99. This cannot be anything but a great deal. I should get…THREE of them. And I should get a bunch of shiny little ornaments and tie them to every single branch of the tree!! Yes! So, I did. It took me five hours to do one tree (OK, I’m not exactly little Miss Crafty, right?). The other two are sitting in the corner. Two years from now I will hire a professional to finish them. (NO I WON’T! If hubs ever reads my blog he’ll have a heart attack thinking I really mean I’d pay someone to put ornaments on a 2 foot fake Christmas tree. He seems to think I also drive down the road throwing bills out the window on the freeway.) (You might want to drive slowly along the shoulder of I-40, it could pay off.)
That the top of the little fake tree was twice as tall as it should be and its little branches were all squished up and bunched together just made it, somehow, more loveable. Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.
Here’s George The Christmas Tree, finished. He turned out nice, you think? Worth 5 Hours? Maybe.
I did also enjoy watching all the “Crashers’ shows on HGTV while decorating George. It made me feel somehow connected to all those people smashing down walls and installing massive showers and single-handedly lifting granite counters into place, finishing an entire bathroom or kitchen in only about 31 more hours than it took me to tie all those balls on George.
“Tis the Season! HO HO HO!
Hey. Anyone out there want to rake some leaves?