Mom is downstairs talking to her food. She has also named it. It’s name is Turkey Lurkey. She’s planning to stuff it full, also. You have to admit this makes no sense. If the food is not fat enough by the time you plan to eat it, stuffing it at that point is useless. We have no problem with eating a bird or a squirrel if you can catch one but we know enough, first, not to name something you plan to eat and, second, catch something that’s already fat enough.
Last night she, J and Grandma all were upstairs rapping. They didn’t sing but they laughed a lot. We though rappers sang songs but what do we know? Lacking opposable thumbs we can’t turn on the iPod. Also, they are not good rappers or wrappers. You should see how they wrapped the boxes. It’s pretty ugly, we can’t even see colors and we know it’s ugly. Look:
Now Murphy left and is sitting on the stairs pouting. He’s upset because one of the twins is downstairs on the couch so he can’t get on the couch. The other one is asleep in the bedroom with the door closed so he can’t get on that bed. Grandma went to church with Dad so now he can’t follow Grandma around the house like a lovesick moron. Grandma went to church with dad so mom could stay home and finishing stuffing Turkey Lurkey and put it in the oven. Which, that’s also weird. Have you ever seen a cat cook their food? It ruins the flavor. People are weird. Cute, but weird.
Here’s something else just to prove that this Christmas stuff apparently makes people stranger than usual: Dad, who is like the Security Police and always makes sure every light is off and every door is locked and everything that should be in its right place – Dad – left on the lights in the den. Not only that, but he openly allowed some fat man to CRAWL DOWN THE CHIMNEY in the middle of the night. Yes. Then he let the fat man play with OUR tree. The tree we’re NOT allowed to play with, the fat man gets to play with. What kind of idiocy is that? PLUS: he did not let Murphy bark at the fat man. See? Odd. Loveable, but odd.
You know what else? He did not go to workoutattheY. Nope. Crazy. He didn’t goforarun either. Mom wentforarun last week. She was really happy. But, did she goforarun today? No! SEE??
Also, another thing – dad never lets a light bulb stay on a nanosecond longer than absolutely necessary. It’s like a contest. Can he get the light bulb turned off before the person is completely out of the room? We think he has a scoreboard somewhere. And, yet: he let mom randomly put lights all over the outside of the house – where you can’t even use them to read a book – and leave them on for hours. Cute, but senseless.
So we’re just hiding up here, playing spider solitaire on the laptop and trying to stay out of the way of a bunch of crazy people. We love them, they’re cute and they do make good pets, but sometimes you need to just let them run out the energy. Later they’ll be all tired and in the den looking at the tvset and we’ll make our move then. Turkey Lurkey may be too skinny and getting cooked in an oven, but we bet there will be some left on the counter. We can force ourselves to eat some.
Merry Christmas to all you other pet owners, we hope your pets got fatter turkeys and that your Dad didn’t flip out and let a fat man just randomly roam through your den. But we’re betting you’re all in the same boat as us.
You gotta love them, though. They’re so cute!