Run. Dog. Cat. Cat. Me.

Everything you need to know about running and life and any other random crap I find bouncing through my mind like a ping pong ball. And always be sure your shoes are happy.

Archive for the tag “running”

Farting Cows Barn Explosion, F-Bombs, the world is a wonderful place.

I can’t make this stuff up, kids.

Tags: Barn Explodes Farting Cows, Farting Cows Barn Explosion, Farting Cows Make Barn Explode,Farting Cows Make Barn Explode Germany, Weird Germany, Weird News

BERLIN (AP) — A herd of dairy cows nearly lifted the roof off their barn in central Germany when methane released by the animals caused an explosion.

Police in Hesse state said in a statement that a static electric charge apparently triggered the detonation, and a spurt of flame, on Monday at a farm in Rasdorf. The roof was slightly damaged and one cow suffered light burns. No people were hurt.

Police say 90 cows are kept in the shed and it wasn’t clear why quantities of methane had built up. Bovine belching and flatulence releases large quantities of the gas.

But it’s all right now, in fact, it’s a gas!
But it’s all right. I’m Jumpin Jack Flash,
It’s a gas! gas! gas! 

While looking for Mick having a gas gas gas on youtube I stumbled across this gem, apparently a new commercial for Audi.  I hope they weren’t saving it for the SuperBowl or something because if so I’ve blown their surprise.

Doberhuahua.  Now that’s fun to say.  Doberhuahua.  Cute little dog … at first …

HAHAHAHA I keep snorting, laughing, thinking about the cows blowing up the barn and escaping, a Doberhuahua rounding them back up.

Another friend shared this, which is awesome – a bunch of people getting together, encouraging each other, doing it for free, and … well placed F-BOMBS!  Perfection, and many thanks to “Steve”.  Watch it now and you’ll want to pull on your longies and woolies and head out at once.

Have fun with that, I’m not going to, I’m only starting mug #2 and you both know the world is not safe until I’m close to the bottom of mug #3.  This morning I started out with Chocolate Glazed Donut and topped the remains with Creme Brulee so I have a chocolatey-carameley concoction fueling me for a visit with Killer in a bit.  Gonna jog on the treadmill, first run since Friday.  I think I’m nearly done coughing up body parts.  This is the cold that never ends.  It goes on and on my friends…

And on a quick visit to my frenemy, weather.com, I am dryly informed that in Memfo Tennessee is it currently 4 degrees.  It feels like 4 degrees, and it is very cold.

4°F
FEELS LIKE 4°
Clear
Very cold.

With this I leave you my friends.  Stay warm wherever you are, and be sure to ventilate your barn properly.

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It’ssssssssss MONDAY ….

*shhhh* if we’re all very very very quiet maybe Monday will not see us.

Try to get small and inconsequential.

Today’s weather update, Boy and Girl, is currently 29 degrees and our high will be …. wait for it … 29 degrees with winds of 19-23 mph.  Maybe if I stand at one end of the yard with an open bag the leaves will blow themselves into it?  And I’m on the fence about a run.  I don’t have any training plans right now so there’s less motivation if the weather isn’t nice.  Maybe later today I will dig around the back of my closet and see if I can find my Mojo.  It’s got to be around here somewhere, and it’s apparently not in the three cups of coffee I’ve brewed at The Shrine so far today.

Meanwhile, one of my progeny is currently walking to the train in Chitown where it’s zero with a -18 feel like temp.  So there, whiny Terri.

Actually it’s pretty out – a ridge of grey clouds edged with white are lined catty-corner along the sky behind the trees across the cove.  The trees are tinged golden from the sun rising behind me, all the colors warm and soft.

lake1.27.14While I was outside to the get the picture a robin landed on the fence, watching me.

As a girl I read The Secret Garden at least a half dozen times.  Every week we had Library time.  It was my favorite part of the week.  Once I was in the school library looking for the book, but I could not remember the title (I guess it was a Secret?).  I knew about where it was located on the shelves so I just started at one end and looked at every book spine, knowing I’d recognize it when I saw it.  The librarian came over, “Do you need some help?”

“Yes, I’m looking for a book.”

“Do you know which book?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the title?”

“I don’t know.”

I could sense her skepticism, but just then I saw it.

“There it is!” I grabbed the book from the shelf.

I could feel her watch me walking off, and I may have only been in 3rd grade, but I know suspicion when it runs up my spine.

Anyway, if you have read the Secret Garden you know that a robin is one of the main characters.  I’ve loved robins ever since, although I don’t remember seeing one until I was an adult.  Surely there are robins in Phoenix?  Oh, well.

So today’s start was auspicious with the appearance of the robin when I randomly went outside to take a picture of the horizon for this rambling, nonsensical post.

The.  End.

Perspective

I woke this morning still tired, still coughing, still sniffing, and still not running on day 12 of the Cold from Hell.  I did a bit on the treadmill at Killer’s on Friday but had to keep slowing so I could hack up more of my insides.  We have a huge yard for which I’m extremely grateful, the beauty, the trees, birds and squirrels, very blessed.  We spent two hours yesterday raking leaves and got about 1/20th of the yard done.  Today is the last nice weather for most of the week and I will not be doing yardwork as I have to work.  I’m going to be doing the damn leaves until May.  Hubs’ idea of doing leaves is vacuuming up the stuff in the flat part of the yard with the mower and filling a garbage can weekly, sometimes getting a couple extra bags filled if he has enough time.  His spare time weekly totals about 3 hours so you can see that at that rate we’ll be done doing the 2013 leaves in about 2018.  I’m watching my body age and change and I don’t like it.  I don’t like how clothes fit differently.  I don’t like that everything is sliding slowly, inexorably, toward the floor.  I don’t like feeling even more tired even more often.  Hubs asks, why are you so tired?  I DON’T KNOW.  The cat is peeing in that spot on the carpet again which indicates the UTI is no better or she’s stuck in a bad habit.  Since she’s also bogarting the floor heating vent I’m going with the UTI.  I don’t know what else to do.  I keep a huge towel in the spot, the only compromise I can come up with unless I throw the cat away, which some people might suggest but it kinda goes against my personal theology to throw away living things which fail to meet my expectations, although I will indulge my occasional and extremely poor coping mechanism of throwing several very loud F bombs around the house.  This probably only serves to create more peeing when I scare the cat with my screaming so there’s another fail.

I am stuck in a funk.

The idea of coaxing anyone out of a funk by showing them evidence that someone else definitely has it worse is, to me, ineffective.  If you are having a bad day, you’re having a bad day.  Who knows what else is going on in someone’s life?  Who knows what else is going on my life?  (Right, not a very good personal argument since I spew my life all over the interworldweb like I currently spew coughs, but we’ll assume a lot of people do have things in their lives about which we are not aware.)

However….

This is my friend’s son:

Cancer patient and avid golfer Kevin Bezon, 28, has grown too weak to stand, but he doesn’t regret the many things he can no longer do ….Doctors have found more tumors on the lining of the brain that are resisting chemotherapy, but Kevin told his father, Ron Bezon, in December that his body is tired, and he doesn’t want another surgery. His father said, “He’s almost at end-of-life care.”

This article is copyrighted by the Commercial Appeal and I’ve linked the article in the quote above.

I’m not much of one to ask people to donate money, however, if you are currently considering supporting St. Jude, please consider doing so through Kevin’s page.

Meanwhile I’m going to get things ready for today’s race.  I’m going to wear my Adidas to the race and I’m going to get a little jog in this sunny day while the runners are out on the course.  If I have to stop and cough a bunch of crap out, tough sh*t.  When I get home I will rake leaves for whatever daylight remains.  The cat can pee on the towel, we’ll all live through it, and I will once again move the towel 6 inches closer to the litter box every couple days until she’s back using the box; it will probably cost about a minute of my life.

11:15am update:  Heading to the race site.  When I first looked at Kevin’s page he was 12% of goal; he is currently 16% of goal!

5:45pm update:  He’s at 25% of goal!

♫This is the Blahg♬ that never ends♫♪

This is the Blahg that never ends.♬
It just goes on and on my friends.
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because . . .
This is the Blahg that never ends.♬
Yes, it goes on and on my friends.
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because . . .

GOOD MORNING!  HAPPY FRIDAY!  IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

mr Rogers

I found this online, it’s a t-shirt, in case you’re feeling nostalgic.

4°F
FEELS LIKE 4°
Very cold.
(intones weather.com)

MR. ROGERS FLIPPING

And take that, weather.com.

(Before you have a heart attack, Mr. Rogers is playing “Where is Thumkin”.   This made my day even though it took several minutes to quit choking from laughter when I first saw it.  I love Mr. R, gentle soul.)

Anyway, I’m so happy, I can’t stand it.  Brain decided to make use of visiting rights and showed up for a while yesterday, struggling to make itself heard thought the 87 pounds of snot muffling everything in my head.  I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Brain.   I think of Indiana Jones fighting his way through many adventures.

indiana jones

“Don’t look at it. Shut your eyes, Marion. Don’t look at it, no matter what happens!”

Brain 1 frequently feels this way.  “OMG don’t look,” it thinks, watching me come up with yet another great idea, like going for a run in four degree weather, with only half of my lungs showing up for work today and the aforementioned snot.

“HEY, let’s have some more coffee!” Brain suggests to distract me, so off I trot to the Shrine, happily perusing my little stash, rubbing my hands together, chortling.

Chocolate Glazed Donut?  Creme Brulee?  Mocca Chocolata Ya Ya Creole Lady Marmalade?

mocha chocolatta

OK, you have to admit that’s pretty random and funny.

So instead of running outside I got to Killer’s early and did a couple miles on the treadmill (Mocca Chocolata Ya Ya Creole Lady Marmalade circling, stuck in Brain).  Then Killer lived up to her name, trying to kill me and my co-training crazy friend whom I shall refer to as … um, “Brenda”, who is looney enough to also enjoy working out with Killer.  “Brenda” was a bit put out when Killer informed us that I would not have to do the 2nd plank and would do some upper body instead.  I stuck my thumbs in my ears and waggled my fingers behind Killer’s back Nanner Nanner!  “Brenda” stuck her tongue out at me.  Killer showed me what I would be doing.  “Brenda” very childishly stuck her thumbs her ears and waggled her fingers.  “HA!  You thought the plank was tough!”

Brat.  Dammit.  And then Killer made me do another plank anyway.

Now I’ve had a lovely lunch, the sun is shining, we have a heat wave of 25 degrees (feel like temp 20) and weather.com did not have any additional comments at this time.

So – that’s it.  You just wasted 5 minutes you’ll never get back, perhaps four if you read fast.   GET BACK TO WORK.

This is the Blahg that never ends.♬
It just goes on and on my friends.
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because . . .
This is the Blahg that never ends.♬
Yes, it goes on and on my friend.
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was,
And they’ll continue reading it forever just because . . .

Discover New Blogs!

Liebster

I woke yesterday to a very nice surprise when Ashley at http://onedreamymess.wordpress.com/ nominated me for the LEIBSTER award!  Ashley lists coffee first in her list of likes, and also mentions she likes a little hot chocolate with her marshmallows, so you know immediately she is an intelligent person with extremely good taste.  So saying, WTH is the girl doing following my blog??

And, yet, she does, and apparently she has good meds.

JUST kidding … check her blog – tons of helpful hints about training, nutrition and healthy living!

Liebster award ~ this award is meant to generate attention for new or upcoming bloggers.

The rules are:

  • Acknowledge the nominating blogger
  • Answer 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you
  • 11 random facts about yourself
  • List some bloggers with fewer than 200 followers that you really feel deserve a little blogging love!
  • Let all of the bloggers know you’ve nominated them. You cannot nominate the blogger that nominated you!
  • Post 11 questions for the bloggers you’ve nominated to answer.

Here are Ashley’s questions to me:

1.  What began your love for fitness & health?
I’ve been ‘running’ since my twenties because it seemed the right thing to do, stay healthy, burn a few calories; I would just set out on the street in front of my house and run through the neighborhood, no training, no fuel, no plans.  Ten or twelve years ago I got involved in a running group that helped me train for my first half marathon and then my first full.  I learned about warm up/cool down, pacing, fueling and felt like a “real” runner for the first time.  But my real love for running, fitness and most of all runners and the running community began when I luckily fell into my job as administrative secretary for Memphis Runner’s Track Club.  Interacting with all these awesome people has convinced me that healthy, fit people are happier people.  Or, crazy.

2.  What is my favorite workout?
Right now going for a run pain-free would be heaven.  I have been able run three times since November when I broke my foot, so I can’t complain.  I will probably run today, I just can’t decide to do it outside, with a ‘feel like’ temp of 11 degrees and the remains of a cold in my chest, or if I will hit the dreadmill.  Or just drink more coffee, which is sounding good right now.  I think my favorite workout is long training runs with friends.  18-20 miles running on the Greenway or out in the county on back roads, slow and easy, talking about everything, seeing the trees, old abandoned houses with green growing through the roof, counting road kill, trying to find a place for an emergency pit stop.  And then, days later, meeting for lunch and crying laughing as we recount the escapades to our friends while the rest of the diners watch us warily.

3.  What is my favorite indulgence for dessert?
Oddly as I get older my desire for sweets has waned.  But I’ll happily take you out if you bogart the crème brulee.

4.  If I won a trip to go anywhere, regardless of cost, where would it be?
The British Isles and Europe by rail, with a hike along the Pennine Way.  Definitely a big dream of mine!

5.  Favorite outdoor activity?
Other than running, sitting poolside with some friends and a very cold beer.

6.  If I could have lunch with any famous person alive or passed away who would it be?
Maybe Robin Williams except I’m sure I couldn’t keep up with him.  I’d probably have to skip eating food because the insane laughter would not aid digestion.  If it were anyone, famous or not, I would choose my brother.

7.  Go-to music genre for pump-up workout?
Classic Rock.  Queen, AC/DC, etc., and then throw in Pink.

8.  President for a whole year or Superman for one day?
Since I would not be President willingly for even a nanosecond, I guess it has to be Superman.  Can I pick Wonder Woman instead?

9.  Where do I shop for workout clothes?
Local running stores, sometimes online if I can’t find what I need.

10.  Morning person or night owl?
Morning person – but only after I have coffee in my hand.  Even the dog waits.

11.  If it were possible to travel through time, would I speed up to the future or flash back to the past?
Totally flash back.  I have a shitton of stuff I’d like to give myself a heads-up about.

Eleven Random Facts About Me:

1.  I was born in Winslow, Arizona.  Not on the corner, though.
2.  I have a runner girl tattoo.  I love her.
3.  I have a really hard time coming up with eleven random facts about myself.
4.  Because, mostly, everything about me is already all over FB and blogging.
5.  I have eleven toes.
6.  I was a complete, total, utter nerd in school.
7.  But not a smart nerd.  Just a nerd nerd.
8.  Somehow, at some time in my life, I was lucky enough to realize it really just doesn’t matter.
9.  Favorite indulgence food is … Taco Bell.  *hanging head* I know…
10.  I’ve hiked to the river and back at the Grand Canyon in a day, a couple times.
11.  One of these random facts is a lie.

My Nominations:

http://runswimbikediversify.wordpress.com/  Becky, a comrade in arms, a certifiable #crazynutjobrunner, is also a triathlete who has already completed a Half Ironman and is now training for her second because she just can’t get enough of the RDA of crazy.

http://elingsjourney.blogspot.com/  Eling, like Becky, is another one who can’t get enough and is not ‘just’ a runner but a triathlete.  Like Becky and Julianne she is on a continuing journey toward fitness and if you need a bit of motivation she’s one to turn to!

http://middleagedwomanontherun.com/ Julianne is not a true newbie, she’s been around for a bit but I’m adding her as she is still striving to do her first full since St. Jude was cancelled this past December.  Are you struggling?  Need a lift?  Check her out!

http://chocolatemedals.com/ Ashley is a runner on a great healthy journey, newlywed and living in Colorado.  Through her I can live vicariously in Colorado and see awesome pics of food that I drool over.

http://smallislandrunner.wordpress.com/ I don’t know how I got lucky enough to stumble across this blog, or maybe she found mine first (too bad for her but a stroke of luck for me), but this blog is a BLAST – Ella is a novice runner who is living in Jersey (and I don’t mean New Jersey) for a year.  I am vicariously living on this beautiful little island through her as she works toward her goal of running every road on the isle.

Nominees – here are your questions:

1. Why did you decide to start blogging?
2. If you could run any race in the world without worrying about cost, which would you choose?
3.  How did you get started running (or your fitness choice)?
4.  What is the funniest/weirdest thing you’ve seen/had happen on a run?
5.  Favorite post-workout indulgence?
6.  Music or purist, and if music, what’s your favorite?
7.  Dreadmill or 25 degrees/10 degree feel-like temp?  Dreadmill or 98 degrees and 98% humidity?
8.  Go-to Mantra when it gets tough?
9.  Morning or evening workout and why?
10.  Best pre-run/workout fuel?
11.  Favorite cross-training?

Karma, or Enter the Spawn.

no life without water

Having birthed the spawn of satan into the world on a napalm flow of snot for the better part of the day yesterday and later coughing out the rest of his minions through my lungs I’m a bit worn out today; copious amounts of coffee are just as spitting in the wind.  On the plus side I got an abs of steel workout without buying a DVD.  Another notch on the plus side:  I can see again.  Thank God it appears Vicks Vaporub is not fatal to eyeballs.  Also it is, indeed, possible to “Cry Me A River”.

“So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing down, no.”

That’s where I went wrong, once again flying high on getting a run Thursday and immediately taking a chance, making more plans (this run is good!  I’m back!  OK, Friday I’ll do this and Saturday I’ll do that and Sunday it will be …) only to crash to earth Friday morning, victim of human frailty and satan-worshiping germs as the Virus From Hell wrapped me in its evil embrace.  BWAAAHAHAHAHA it chortled as I choked, lungs aflame.  GO AHEAD!  MAKE PLANS!  BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

atomic blast

Yesterday when I woke it appeared I was (mostly) done coughing and, unaware a lava flow was busy heating up inside my head, I failed to realize why I was feeling down, instead blaming it on the fact that my friends were lining up at the Swampstomper start and I wasn’t.  A couple hours later I realized as far as Swampstomper went it’s just as well I broke my foot unless the karma gods, if I hadn’t broken my foot, would have spared me this cold; either way, not running because of the foot or trying to run with a healthy foot but this cold, it’s obvious that race was not meant for me this year.  Never trust the karma gods. 

It’s disheartening to realize, as I do occasionally before I can force myself to forget again, that the first day I ran pain-free since July 2012 was the same day I broke my foot.  Those first two miles – my brain singing the Hallelujah Chorus  (which you need to watch right now because I just watched it again and it’s going to be a few minutes before I can type much since I’m crying coughing choking laughing, so you have a break) – those first two miles, pain-free!  I floated, gloating, certain I’d found the cure, that running Nirvana is now MINE MINE MINE, clutching the joy … and then I took one more step, too greedy – but those two miles – they were heaven.

It’s human nature, I suppose, to continue to think surely this is the day, certainly it will be like it used to be or even better.

If this thought is based upon some provable fact, yay, you’re right.  “Today will be sunny.  See?  There’s the sun, shining.”  Additionally the odds are you do not live in Memphis.

If this is based on cheerful hope, you are an optimist.  “Today will be sunny, ” you think, living in Memphis, you foolish fool.

If this is based on a belief in some type of cosmic lottery which says at some point it will be time to ease up on any given person, it’s idiocy.  “It’s rained for 24 hours, surely the sun will shine in Memphis today.”

karma gods

Although I’m not really sure what the cats did to piss off Karma I think I should check the closet.  I bet they pooped in my shoes.

WHERE have you BEEN??

Ah, wait.  That’s me that’s been missing.

Sorry there, Boy and Girl, deepest heartfelt apologies and all that blather.  Kinda lost focus and direction for a while.

Wait.  Let’s look at this another way.  I refocused and recommitted.  Rather than New Year “Resolutions” I prefer the term New Year “Recommitments”.  Like many, as the year wanes I look back:  what I hoped to achieve, how I went about it, were the goals met?  If so, how?  If not, why?

I started 2013 the same way I am starting 2014 – injured.  My goals for the year were a marathon and a 50K, working up to 58K spring 2014.  Hubs wisely refrained from arguing with a brick wall and said nothing of the loftiness of those goals in view of the fact I’d run about three times in the past three months.

The goal should probably have been to get healthy, but I didn’t know how since I didn’t know what was wrong, I only knew pain.  And I was trying to get better, I just didn’t know how.  BRFF “Becky” found Dr. W who was a huge help on the journey, and I kept moving in the right direction, albeit with a few side jaunts.  As I repeatedly discover, you do learn something new nearly every day.  It may only be that you were wrong again, but, heck – learned, right?  A year later I know that it was not a matter of doing things wrong, it was a matter of time for things to come together.  I’m very hopeful that what I’ve learned and the places and people I’ve been led to are a solid part of the solution.  That, and a bit more time.  Thank God I’m at peace, for today, at taking a bit more time.

Two days ago I ran a total of 25 minutes easy, with walk breaks and adding 5 minute walking w/u c/d for a total of 35 minutes/3 miles – the first time I’d run outside exactly 10 weeks.  I’d done a mile or two on the treadmill a couple times earlier in the week.  I figured that was safest, if anything happened I wouldn’t be half a mile from home.  Well, actually I would, I’d be further – at the Center – but I’d have the car, right?  I can hop to the car.  I’d look like an idiot, of course.

“Oh, look at that lady hoping down the hallway on one foot.”

“Well, Madge, maybe it’s a new fitness routine.  Let’s check the schedule.”

“I don’t think we should, Maude, the ‘girls’ would be flopping mightily.”

“True, Madge, true.  We could get a concussion.”

So, I ran.  It was glorious.  Bright shiny day, cold, breezy, I ran my favorite route looking at the skeletal trees, leaves thick on the ground, the drainage stream crisply frozen on the edges.  Running slowly I looked up at the beautifully twisted bare branches making sculpture against the bright sky, sharp curling grey-ish shapes against the dazzling blue.  This is really why I do it.  All those horrible hot days, the runs that feel like I’m slogging through mud, the days I feel like my head and body are not even connected, there is no communication, legs or lungs go on strike singly or in unison, those days are for this day, completely aware of life surrounding me, enveloping me, fully alive in this living breathing world.

Suspicious Minds

Well, Boy and Girl, this is my 200th post.  You’ve both been very faithful supporters.  You repeatedly encouraged me to blog; when I did you were my first two followers, and I thank you.  Everyone else wishes you’d kept your mouths shut and I will not use your real names to protect you, but thank you both, “Hermione” and “Sylvester”.  Somehow 712 people have chosen to follow this nannering, wandering blog, I thank you all also and sincerely apologize for all the lost hours and brain cells.

Things that did not happen yesterday:

1.  The tree is still not decorated although it’s fluffed and has a few shiny things hanging on it.  This time it’s because I can’t decide the best way to keep the cats from declaring it their new home and then redecorating it to suit their tastes, which is all the balls knocked off onto the floor.  I don’t like that look.  It’s…crunchy.  The vacuum doesn’t like it either, apparently and to my regret.

2.  My foot was not miraculously healed.  This made my very devout mother sad.  You’d think after all these years she would give up, but, no.  She’s absolutely convinced that at some point she is going to pray someone out of something.  Who knows?  She very well may have already, because I figure if she did then we would not know because they would have gotten prayed out of it.  My question is, what does God do up there, have a stopwatch and an excel spreadsheet?  “Okay, then, Sally beat Janie by .37 second on the praying for rain/praying for no rain, toughski shitzki, Janie, it’s going to rain on your wedding.  Pray faster next time, and also I will put you in the lose column and you’ll get a 3 second advantage on the next prayer.”

If either of you two faithful followers are still following after reading that blasphemy you should probably at least climb under your desk to continue.

This means that Dr. Awesome v.2 made my mom sad.  I should have pointed this out to him, but I expect he would still not have changed his mind.

In fact, I did sort of point it out.  I told him that he had not read the script correctly; his line was supposed to be, “WOW.  I made a mistake.  Your foot is not broken at all, I’m SO sorry.”

I would have been the bigger person here, too, and I would not have gotten upset.  I would be all magnanimous and wave my hand slightly – “oh it’s nothing, I’m sure it happens.”

But, no.  No healing.  Four more weeks and see him again.  And you know what?  I suspect that he is a very suspicious man.  He doesn’t seem to trust me and I have no idea why.  Rather like Hubs thinking I would not wear the boot.  Cynical, even.

Would this conversation make you suspicious that someone was suspicious about you?

Dr. A v.2:  “See me in four more weeks.  Call me in two weeks.”

Me: “Um, OK, why?”

Dr. A v.2:  “So I can talk you down.”

Me:  (Innocent) “What?  You don’t trust me?”

Dr. A v.2:  “You’re a runner.  I know what you will be thinking two weeks from now when your foot doesn’t hurt so much anymore.  Call me and I’ll talk you down.”

Me:  *Sigh*  *dammit*

Little Merry Sunshine

Things that did not happen in my house yesterday:

Despite laying everything out in the den and giving clear instructions, the Christmas tree did not fluff and decorate itself.

The clothes did not march downstairs, jump in the washer and then the dryer and return to their original starting positions.

Nor did the dishes do anything similar.

And the bed stubbornly refuses to make itself even thought I’ve repeatedly encouraged it.

The good thing is that everything I do takes half again as long while I lurch slowly up and down stairs, dragging three extra pounds around on my left foot.  This gives me hope that the extra time and weight will keep me fairly fit for the rest of my life since that’s how long it feels I will be in this boot.  I do see Dr. Wonderful 2 this morning so more on that later.  Personally I’m planning on him smacking himself in the forehead and exclaiming OMGOSH IT’S A MIRACLE YOU’VE BEEN HEALED, GO FOR A NICE LONG RUN! and you cannot convince me otherwise even with my foot still swollen and tender.  That’s just residue from the miracle.

Between 7-1/2 hours spent sitting in front my computer this weekend watching online modules so I can take a test to become a Certified Race Director (learning many important things such as runners should be able to see the START banner) whenever I realized I could no longer feel my butt – which (segue) by the way, has not tried to fall off once since I broke my foot.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I lean toward a conspiracy.  But more on that later, I’m still trying to figure it out and they know I’m sticking close, watching them –

Anyway, whenever I realized I could no longer feel my butt, sitting here peering blindly at the computer trying to find the sweet spot in my trifocals, I paused the video and did some laundry or washed dishes or something.  I know, I’m wild and crazy but there is no stopping me.  And I’ve decided that probably the tree could decorate itself but it’s just being helpful by giving me something to do, lurching about fluffing branches and trying in vain to kneel down on this boot to reach the lower branches, burn some calories there, Terri, get that HR up a bit.

So – ShuBootAh is being helpful too, making extra work for me.  OH – and – she is hot and I don’t mean whoa she’s fine.  That sucker holds the heat.  So I’m saving money on utilities also.

I have to say, I’m really pleased with all this positive thinking I have going on.  Most of the time I’m a bit cynical, but this morning I’m practically glowing with positivity.

You know who’s cynical even though they say they aren’t?  Hubs.  Hubs is cynical and you cannot convince me otherwise because I’ve seen his cynical eyeball roll about 1,237,698 times, and I think 1,237,657 of those were caused by me.

The other day he watched silently as I put ShuBootAh back on (I’d taken her off to get a break, putting my foot up for a minute).  I looked at him from the corner of my eye.  

“You thought I would not wear the boot like I should, didn’t you?”

He hesitated.  “I have to say, you are doing much better than I expected.”

Number of days in ShuBootAh: 18

Number of times I’ve thrown her across the room narrowly missing poor Murphy: 1

Number of days since I did so: 13

I’m like little freeking Merry Sunshine over here.

merry sunshine

Snowmageddon part 47 & Queen

Well, boy and girl, it’s time to panic and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet.  We’re all gonna die.

Monday, November 25, 2013:  Today A chance of snow and sleet before 10am, then a chance of rain and sleet between 10am and 1pm, then rain likely after 1pm. Cloudy, with a high near 40. Southeast wind around 5 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%. Little or no snow accumulation expected.
Tonight Rain likely before 7pm, then rain and snow likely between 7pm and 1am, then a chance of rain and sleet after 1am. Cloudy, with a low around 32. East wind around 5 mph becoming north after midnight. Chance of precipitation is 70%. Little or no snow accumulation expected.
Tuesday A chance of rain and sleet before 7am, then a chance of snow and sleet between 7am and 10am, then a chance of rain after 10am. Cloudy, with a high near 44. North wind 10 to 15 mph. Chance of precipitation is 40%. New precipitation amounts of less than a tenth of an inch possible.

So:  you need to quit reading this stupid blog right now and go kiss your loved ones and hold them tight before Snowmageddon savagely rips you asunder.

I do believe that’s the first time I’ve ever used “asunder” in a sentence.  I’m kinda proud.

To any innocents out there that accidentally trip across my blog, I apologize for wasting your time and if you don’t live in Tennessee Snowmageddon may not affect you but I will still keep you in my prayers just in case and will offer this word of explanation.  At the hint of the possibility of the word of SNOW and/or SLEET Tennesseans immediately grab their car keys and rush to the grocery to stock up on wood (yes, at the grocery), bread and milk just in case they get snowed in for weeks and weeks under the 1/4″ spotty dusting of snow.

Meanwhile I’m sitting here safely ensconced in ShuBootAh, which I have not thrown across the room in 6 days and about, oh, 20 hours, so now I can be proud of both that and “asunder”.  Which I would really like to do to ShuBootAh.  But I won’t.  Not that I don’t frequently invent scenarios in which it is torn asunder by savage beasts while I plead no.  no.  please.  stop.  So I’m just sitting here, not doing anything, just sitting.  Interminably sitting, except when I LurchThud to the kitchen for more coffee, scaring the shit (literally) out of poor sweet Mo kitty who scrambles quickly under the bed or behind a chair.  He loves me but he hates ShuBootAh.  And, by the way, my BRFF “Heather” got 49 majillion points for naming the boot.

If either of you wondered, and I’m sure you didn’t since you’re #crazynutjobrunners yourself and surely already know, there is a correlation between the mileage you are putting in and the number of hours you’d like to sleep if Satan had not invented alarm clocks.  Unfortunately, for me at least, there is also a direct correlation between the number of hours you can’t sleep and number of miles you are not running and this past weekend found me wide awake before 5:30 both mornings.  Also, unfortunately, it found me full of energy.

Sooooo by 8:30 Sunday I was up for three hours and I’d already made coffee, read the paper, made more coffee, had breakfast, did the crossword while drinking coffee, watched TV with some coffee and even, desperately, pulled out some needlework to do.  I thought I might vacuum the house (silly idea, I know, but those fluffy balls of cat and dog hair floating up off the stairs and floor continue to stubbornly refuse to disintegrate).  Sadly, I can’t get the vacuum, me, and the boot down the stairs and I’ll be damned if I take the chance of slipping and hurting any other part of my body.  Then I thought of just setting the vacuum on the top stair and kind of holding on but sort of push it down the stairs (which I’d really like to do, in truth, but not because I’m afraid of falling), however the realization that it would smash into a bunch of pieces upon landing on the tile below was enough to dampen my enthusiasm for any part of the activity.  The second realization, that I would then have to explain to hubs that we need a new vacuum when 5 seconds previously we had a perfectly good one pretty much did a Niagara Falls on the idea.  Washed out completely.  So I stuck the vacuum back in the upstairs closet and sighed.

I THUD lurched around the house a bit, aimlessly, swinging my arms.  Maybe that will use up some energy.

And maybe Bill Gates is pulling into my drive right now to announce he wants to give me $10 majillion dollars.

I had some trouble getting out of the pity party.  Everything that distracted me was lame.  It was such a pretty day, cold and crackling crisp, 25 degrees when I woke, but I’m OK with that, I run in the cold and don’t mind it – too much – as long as it’s dry and not windy.  I tried not to look out the window at the beautiful morning as every time I did the zing shot through my head.  “Dammit”  “I can’t run

NOPE quit, stop, do something.

I went back to the den and sat down again, pulling out the needlework and started scrolling through the 987 channels which had nothing good on any of them, I think I need to pay for HBO.

BUT, wait, what is this?  A 2-hour special on Queen?  Followed by a 2-hour special about Freddie Mercury??

I wasn’t a huge hard rock fan in high school.  Heck, at 13 I was still a Monkees fan (yes.  I was a complete nerd, walking around in my high water jeans since I’d hit 5’8″ the year previously and there was no Gap store in my mall, offering jeans in Tall, nor would my South Dakota farm-raised mom understand the need for specialized jeans.  When she was growing up she had two sets of clothes:  Milk the Cows outfit, Go to School outfit).  I used to think maybe Davy Jones would some day visit Phoenix and be walking down the mall, and I would be at the mall and I would be walking along and he would see me and little fireworks would pop around in the air above his head and he would fall in love with me.

I’m lying.  I didn’t really think that would happen.

But – you know – it’s not like it’s completely impossible, like Bill Gates driving up to the house would be.  And you can see, by my relating this sweet innocent dream, that I was not born the cynic I’ve become.  I look back at that 13 year old and pat her on the head.  It’s OK, you’re doing fine.

Anyway, I digress.  Queen.  I do love hard rock now and play it loudly as I drive around town, me, Queen, AC/DC and my AARP card, I’m rocking it out now, wild and crazy, and no one’s stopping me.  It was particularly fun for me as I got to go to Switzerland once and hubs and I took a day trip to Montreux, where we got our picture taken in front of his statue.  What an incredibly talented man.  I never knew he sang opera.  You learn something new everyday, they say, those “they” people.

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