Run. Dog. Cat. Cat. Me.

Everything you need to know about running and life and any other random crap I find bouncing through my mind like a ping pong ball. And always be sure your shoes are happy.

Archive for the tag “storm”

BSOD

While I would not be the first to admit it, because I am very happy wallowing in my own misery, there is something worse than BFOS, and that is the BSOD.

BSOD

Which, unfortunately, I woke to last week.

They do a have a few things in common, the most obvious being they are both a huge pain in the a$$ followed by the 2nd most obvious, you are jumping on a merry-go-round right here and now in a vain attempt to find any solution.

My current vain attempt to find resolution on the Falling Off Butt is a trip to a Neurologist which will happen Tuesday. I don’t want to but have been mercilessly nagged by friends and family for weeks to please make an appointment which I finally, grudgingly did. If he comes within 20 feet of me with a steroid he’d better never plan on having children.

Being my own IT department at Chez Terrilee’s Running Club Secretary’s Top Secret Laboratory, I quickly triaged the situation.  Upstairs at one end of the house:  The dead or dying laptop.  Downstairs at the other end of the house:  The still useful desktop.

Here’s a thought:  bring the laptop downstairs and try fixing it there, next to the working computer.

But, no, that never, in six hours of running back and forth, occurred to me. First I’d google the most recent error message on the desktop and run upstairs to implement that fix. Then I’d run downstairs to google the next step, run up the stairs, run down the stairs, six hours. The next day I could not figure out why my knees hurt so much. Finally it occurred to me I’d done six hours of a stair workout…in Uggs.

Anyway, eventually I came to the realization that nothing was going to help so I held a pillow firmly over the screen until it quit kicking. Resolutely, sadly, I closed the lid on my laptop for the final time and stuck it in the Closet Of Death. We all have one, the closet where you stick everything you no longer need but have no idea what to do with. I thought I heard a faint whirrrrrr and sigh as I dropped it on top of that ugly quilt someone gave the twins when they were babies. They probably quilted it while watching Top Gun. You can’t really say too much good about color combos of the 80’s, not that I wasn’t extremely grateful for the quilt at the time. Now I just do everything beige. Light Beige, Medium Beige, Beige Beige. It’s boring, but I won’t look at pictures 20 years from now and say, what the h@ll was I thinking? Because everything will be beige including me, and I won’t be able to see anything. The pictures won’t paint a very colorful history of our family, little beige squares stuck in a photo album, but there will also be no evidence of my poor taste, evolving hairstyles and expanding waist.

There’s something else that might be worse than BFOS, and that is the BPOD:

BPOD

Swim class, or as I like to think of it, Torture, is on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Last week I spent Thursday putting the laptop out of my misery, and this past Tuesday I spent eagerly awaiting the highly touted ice and snow storm. I was less eager than usual because I had not taken time to buy several loaves of white balloon bread, 13 gallons of milk and some firewood being sold by the side of the road out the back of an old red pickup truck to use in our gas fireplace. Fail to plan, plan to fail. The cats glared at me accusingly. “What kind of mom are you?,” I could see them thinking. Meanwhile, the television screamed.

“RIGHT HERE, ONLY ON THE BEST STATION IN TOWN, NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY, THE LATEST UPDATE ON SNOWMAGEDDON 2013!”

“BOB! TELL US THE LATEST NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY WEATHER UPDATE ABOUT ICE AND SNOW AND POSSIBLE POWER OUTAGES!”

“WELL, BILL, AS YOU KNOW, HERE AT NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY WE ARE CAREFULLY WATCHING OUR WEATHER UPDATES WHICH INDICATE ICE AND SNOW AND POSSIBLE POWER OUTAGES!!! STEVE, WHAT CAN YOU TELL US?”

“WELL, BILL & BOB, HERE AT NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY WE ARE CAREFULLY WATCHING OUR TRAFFIC WEATHER UPDATES, WHICH INDICATE ICE AND SNOW AND POSSIBLE POWER OUTAGES!! IN FACT, SEVERAL CARS HAVE ALREADY WRECKED ON THE FLY-OVER IN JOYFUL ANTICIPATION OF ICE AND SNOW!!”

“WOW, BILL & BOB & STEVE” SOLEMNLY INTONED NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY ANCHOR SALLY SUE, “WE ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR YOUR DEDICATION TO GETTING OUT ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND WEATHER UPDATES ABOUT SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-MAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEDON 2013!!!”

I tried to turn off the TV but apparently at the hint of ICE AND SNOW the television becomes sentient and immediately stations itself on NEWS CHANNEL ZIPPY. You can beg and plead but you are not going to see anything other than large words superimposed over photos of last year’s SNOWMAGGENDON 2012 while Bob joyfully exclaims the worst that could possibly happen, so I kept watching, anticipating, ready for the power outage so I could try to rewarm my coffee over my dad’s old Zippo lighter, but nothing happened. No snow. No ice. No power outage. It was like being five and getting clothes for your birthday. And while I watched and anticipated, swim class passed me by. Darn.

Positively Positive

While I would describe myself as a realist rather than a pessimist, I do think it’s fair to say that most realists are probably a bit pessimistic just by nature of realizing that things are pretty much as they appear – which means, sometimes, pretty crappy.

The hubs, however, always thought I was a pessimist.  For example, if you have four-year-old twin boys in the middle of the den floor playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with empty papertowel-tube swords in a fort made of all the couch cushions (which, by the way, if you have any children in your home under the age of, oh – 16 – and you buy a couch with unattached cushions, it’s your own damn fault and don’t come crying to me because I learned the hard way and I guess you’re just gonna have to, too), and you put your cup of diet coke in the middle of the coffee table, and your wife says, “that cup is going to get knocked over” maybe the husband thinks the wife is being negative, while the wife is simply and fully aware of the fact that the beverage is not long for this Ninja Turtle-inhabited world.  And also that the husband has done the same thing in the same situation 8 times already which is why the supply of cups in the house is rapidly dwindling since four year old boys can destroy plastic as easily as glass.

Anyway, I’ve decided this Lent to try adding instead of subtracting.  I’m going to try to add a more positive outlook on things.  I’ll pay more attention to the positive realistic things and try to ignore the negative realistic things.  I’m going to add healthier food.  I’m going to keep working on adding more miles – altho I do wish I could subtract the fascist plantars in my feet.

This morning was a great chance to add some positivity in my day since it was supposed to be 15-25 mph winds with tornado watches.  Watches are different than warnings.  It’s like Code Yellow vs. Code Red.  One thing I’m positive of:  Memphis weather is psycho, and Code Nothing can go to Code We’re All Gonna Die in about a minute.  Also I’m still having relationship issues with weather.com, as you both know.  We broke up early last week and then on Sunday weather.com was so nice to me, gave me a beautiful sunny, slightly breezy, not-too-warm not-too-cold day and you know how it is when they bring you candy and look so remorseful; we were back together although I did state emphatically that This. Is. The. Last. Time.

I was positive that Cat was using my undercover toes as batting practice at 5:15 this morning so I got up and decided to be happy about the fact that God made coffee as I visited the Shrine of Glorious Coffee Making Perfection, pouring dark steaming nectar into my favorite mug *sip* *sip* *sigh* now I don’t have to kill anyone, you can all come back into the house.   I’ve got an hour on the books with Cheryl, aka The Exorcist, Jr.  Despite the fact she insists she’s just a trainer I am convinced she does not sleep and spends the dark hours of the night dreaming up new tortures.  Something about the way her eyes glow and spin when she thinks I’m not looking, I don’t know, it doesn’t seem right.  After the reign of terror I’ll do 5 easy miles.

Weather.com gaily informed me that today I am looking at:

Scattered strong thunderstorms. Damaging winds and large hail with some storms. High 73F. Winds SW at 15 to 25 mph. Chance of rain 60%.

This does not sound like weather I want to do 5 easy miles in, but I’m willing to wait and give things a chance (see how positive that was?)

I worked out with Cheryl and she didn’t seem to want to kill me completely dead, so that  would be a positive thing.

She has a gym in her garage and we worked out with the door open.  That was positive.  It’s also probably the reason she didn’t seem to want to kill me completely dead.  The neighbors might notice.  That would be a good thing – another score for positveness.

Plus it was pretty funny watching her chase the recylcing down the road when the wind blew it out of the recylcing bucket.  That was defnitely positive.  Made even more positive by the fact that she was running in a pair of Danskos instead of running shoes.

The wind kept blowing and the clouds kept growing larger and darker and I wavered – should I chance a run outside or stick with the treadmill?  (I didn’t call it the *D*readmill – Positiveness)

I did a mile on the *T*readmill and decided to chance running outside before my brain fell out from boredom.  I wasn’t hearing any sirens, there were no end-of-the-world warnings screaming across the bottom of the TV screen and the rain hadn’t shown up yet.  See how this positivity thing is really falling into place for me?  This is getting encouraging.

I headed out and the wind wasn’t too bad until I turned the corner.  Then the wind managed to be blowing against me when I ran south.  Then it blew against me when I ran west.  Then it blew against me when I ran north.  But just think, it was like doing speed work without having to actually run fast.  My HR was 156 at a pace that should have been about 140.  Positively positivness.

And when I was finally headed east on the final 1/2 mile, the wind was at my back.  Suddenly I was running what should have been a 165HR pace at 136HR.  Honestly, this positivitiy-ness thing is working pretty good!  I’m not even too mad at weather.com that the promised damaging winds and large hail haven’t shown up while I sit here with the window open and the sun occassionally peeping out of the clouds and a warm kitten sleeping on my lap.

i almost died last night

god got mad at me becuse i went out oF the yard IN THE MORNINGso he made a storm lastnight

im sorry iwent out of tHe yard

i will neVr do it SQUIRREL i see a squirrle let Me Out mom! mommommom  SQUIRRRRREL let me oooooooUt

Death: Zero Me: One

Once again with my uncanny Cat ability I have saved Mom and Dog from certain death.  I looked death in the face and I said bwaaahahahaha death you loser I am Cat hear me roar.  Dog is mostly useless and Mom is clueless and Dad is always at Job or Working Out so there’s no one left but me to protect the innocent.

Yesterday with my super sensitive Cat instincts I knew there was trouble I could feel it in the air.  I could feel Triangular Spasmodic  Electrons in the air and I knew a storm was coming.  I ran down the hallway to tell Mom but she was too busy looking at Computer Box and telling it she was fed up with it’s onethousand-onehundred-sixty-three E Males and if Computer Box didn’t stop she was going to Pull Its Plug.   Obviously she was not going to listen to me so I got in her lap and stared at her.  Maybe I could get through to her telepathically.  She said cute little cat what is wrong with you with your eyeballs rolling and I thought OH, My Holy Mother of Catnip, she’s an IDIOT.  I was so frustrated I jumped on the bed and beat up Printer Cartridge.  I wanted to take it out on Dog but he was in a pathetic little ball under the chair quivering like jello so it would have been like teasing a kitten.

Which by the way is extremely irritating to kittens in case no one out there ever realized it you idiots.  And you think they chew up your socks and attack your ankles because they are just so cute and playful.

Anyway mom finally quit talking to Computer Box about E Males and Funny Video and went into the Den to her Chair so quivering ball of fear Dog could sit on her lap like a baby.  Once again, there they are, Useless and Clueless.  So I climbed on top of both of them so someone could be in charge and protect them until Dad came home from Work.

A Cat’s life, I tell you, it’s all about sacrifice.

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