There actually is a blog titled Little Merry Sunshine and it’s much cheerier than my Merry Sunshine. If you’re in the same mood as I am this morning you need to head over there right now and read it for about fourteen hours.
It’s fine, I’ll wait. I have coffee.
Ok, are you done? Do you feel better?
I don’t. As you both know, my brain is broken. I keep trying to fix it, I really do, and I won’t give up. There are simply times it’s harder to keep trying.
The blogger above (I do think she must be a very nice person) was apparently such a happy child she even smiled when she slept.
I, on the other hand, was the (not) sleeping child who, when I could not stand it a moment longer and my bladder was about to burst, stood on the bed, leapt to the doorway, ran to the bathroom, speed peed and dashed back to the bedroom doorway to leap back onto the bed.
I did this so the man who lived under my bed could not grab my leg and pull me under the bed.
It was never clear what would happen after that, life would end or I’d live forever in a black hole, I’m unsure. All I knew was I would be sucked into a dark and never-ending vortex.
Lately it’s been dark endless days that morph into darker nights as we shiver through the effects of psycho polar vortexes, grey cloudy cold days of endless rain pouring down from dark endless clouds. The fun of hunkering down, making soup, reading in the comfy chair, knitting while watching TV in the evening has waned to microscopic.
What happens if someone scares you? Maybe you think you’re alone in the house, knitting endless scarves watching the news and waiting to make dinner, but actually hubs is home from work and you didn’t hear him come in (Early Warning System is asleep on the couch). He walks into the room to say hi and you jump out of the chair, heart pounding. What’s the first thing that happens? Do you feel angry?
I do. I get pissed because I got scared.
And there you have it.
The whirling vortex of Brain has settled on the OH SHIT button and keeps stomping. Well sh*t. When is the last time we ran and it didn’t hurt? That would be … Brain counts on its fingers … 19 months ago, yeppers. JeZUS in your little hay filled CRIB, shut UP Brain!
Making the bed, little twinges, ouch, step, ouch, step. Why is my foot still sore? Is it another stress reaction? There is my running gear, laid out three days ago. Still folded, still on the chair. Maybe I’ll run later this morning. I should take my phone in case there is something wrong. He said it would be easier to break another bone for a while. I could call Becky if something happened. Maybe I should go to the Center and run on the treadmill instead. Maybe I’ll do that. Later. Like, next Juvember.
I, however, am holding an ace: I have BRFF’s who pop up on messages telling me to drag my whiny ass over to their house at 8:15 and they don’t want to hear the ‘feel like’ temp, put on some woolies and gloves, get your butt here and we’re going for a run.
YAY! We’re going for RUN!
“I am too a Merry Sunshine,” insisted Ramona (and she) got down from the table and ran …
Furthest I’ve run since 11.9.13
A little slow. Took a couple walk breaks. Waited on a couple red lights.
Cold and breezy. After a while I couldn’t feel my quads.
It was perfect.